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Literature Text
Turbid blood begins to flitter.
Free it from the narrow
vessels. Let it scatter
like sparrows.
Let them flit, let them twitter,
shatter
all the chimeras in whose talons they squeak.
Reach into my mouldering chest,
run a claw
down my ribs,
rip
the ribbons of rust from its cage.
Blow the bud
of my heartbeat to blossom,
to erupt with the power of rage.
Brush the dust off my hair to glitter.
Bluster it into a gale.
Shred
the frail cobwebs and eight-legged critters
lying cocooned in their nests.
Let them protest,
distressed
like blind fish trapped in a brail.
Embers smoulder behind dusty crust.
Eyelashes turn into coal
and disperse.
Thrust
the fiery spears of comets
into my pupils and watch
as my eyeballs combust,
no longer immersed
in the static.
Let seaweed of fire, erratic,
fumble with my flaking skin.
I burn
in a blazing reminder
of how to be fully awake.
Free it from the narrow
vessels. Let it scatter
like sparrows.
Let them flit, let them twitter,
shatter
all the chimeras in whose talons they squeak.
Reach into my mouldering chest,
run a claw
down my ribs,
rip
the ribbons of rust from its cage.
Blow the bud
of my heartbeat to blossom,
to erupt with the power of rage.
Brush the dust off my hair to glitter.
Bluster it into a gale.
Shred
the frail cobwebs and eight-legged critters
lying cocooned in their nests.
Let them protest,
distressed
like blind fish trapped in a brail.
Embers smoulder behind dusty crust.
Eyelashes turn into coal
and disperse.
Thrust
the fiery spears of comets
into my pupils and watch
as my eyeballs combust,
no longer immersed
in the static.
Let seaweed of fire, erratic,
fumble with my flaking skin.
I burn
in a blazing reminder
of how to be fully awake.
This is a poem I've been working on and off for... hmm, 6-7 years? Not all the time, of course!
Each verse (except the last) signifies a failed relationship to me, because it was written after that phase of paralytic momentum that comes after a break-up, when you finally start feeling alive and normal again. And the last one was just me thinking to myself: "I need to finish this thing already." After all, unfinished poems are like ghosts - they haunt you and whisper to you at most inappropriate moments and don't let go until you've set them to peace.
It would be great if you could tell me what kind of awakening you associated it with while reading.
Also any critical feedback is welcome. I'm particularly interested if it flows well, if the rhymes sound natural or too forced, if you can picture the images well enough in your mind, if the ending felt anti-climactic to you, whether you think typographic devices would fit the poem and if there is a tangible difference in tone and style between each verse (given the large periods of time between the writing of each one).
Β© 2014 - 2024 DanielaIvanova
Comments46
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This is beautiful!